Kam hai Waqt: Say No to Kambakht

Image source: gomolo.in

Who said Bollywood doesnt expand beyond its formula ridden territory? Who said it couldn’t match the intensity and out-of-the-box film making of Hollywood? and who said that they simply couldnt make a real comedy post the Hrishikesh Mukherjee-Amol Palekar-Utpal Dutt era?

Well, whoever said would be damned to heaven! once you subject yourself to a great experience of watching this Akshay-Kareena super dumbo, executed by a maestro named Sabir Khan with tons and tons of money spent by some absolute fools, you’ll thank the almighty for giving you the opportunity to witness HELL in real time just as he presnted you with a live Swayamvar of one Ms Sawant

Not convinced? well, i’ll just give you a little snippet from this stupidest plot of all time: A watch, accidentally left inside Akshay’s stomach by a lady doctor (happens to be our dearly Bebo), keeps playing the song ‘Om Mangalam‘ every hour like an alarm. Afraid of getting sued, she plays every trick in her book to get the watch out of his stomach, and after a series of mindless, headless or whatever less incidents she manages to take him under water, where Akshay actually proposes her (yes, under water – how romantic), and inject him to perform the surgery!!!

Tangri na khincho meri!

Dont worry, you’re up against more such mastery crafts that will blow your mind. Kambakkht emosssions — anger, frustrattion, helpnessness, irrtitations and a whole gamut of such dearies will soon convert into yawns, giddiness, khujli, staring at wrong places, and finally a self ejection from the trauma that must need a bout of Saridons to soothe the agitated khopri.

So, what are you waiting for? go grab your tickets to watch this cult classic that can give Tashan and CC2C a run for their money. and you’ll also find some thick skinned creatures such as Bollywood Hungamas who wouldnt give a fraction more than 3.5 for such master piece. shame on them. let them not spoil your journey. aaj ka shaam, Kar do Kamwaqt ke nam! [pun seriously intended]

[This Kambakhht Ishq review is cross posted via this source]

Nothing NEW in this New York

Image courtesy: gomolo.in

The prospect of watching a film after such a long time was at first looked under grave threat due to a long wait for tickets (the fact is: Vodafone Tuesday one-on-one free ticket scheme). Finally the battle was won by wifey dear who held onto it and grabbed the tickets. The Kabul express memory was still intact, and experiencing another rare docu-dramma from Bollywood was far too enticing to overcome any torrent incited delay

But all such euphoria lasts as little as Pritam’s originality is!!

John was horrible and so was his team of ‘terrorists’, who were planted like crude looking landmines that never went bust. C’mon Kabir, what happened to your senses? events just kept rolling w/o any sense,  just for the sake of it. Irrfan, who tried to play to the gallery looked more like an irritating CID officer than a seasoned FBI officer. At some point of time you get a feeling that he even owns the FBI! Katrina does, what she does best — sit pretty (even when she gets shot -. the only saving grace of NY, if any, is Neil Nitin Mukesh and a couple of tracks that lasted till we reached home.

New York seriously lacks the ’seriousness’ it needed to deliver the statement home. poor acting, lacklusture script, and above it all the frivolous attempt to punch the Bollywood masala to make it commercially viable clearly let me down. Such movies require a raw intensity, and Dir Kabir Khan completely failed to extract that out of his cast. A classic case of where a good attempt self destructed itself.

Gomolo.in: the new kid on the block

this blog has long been silent. The sabbatical seems far too stretching. No time for movies, u mean to say? commented one fellow movie lover. Naah. it’s just the impure feeling of lyaad (lethargy).

So, i was out surfing again, and after a while, found this new kid on the block: gomolo.in. uhh aah. On a first glance, it seemed like an indian version of Imdb, but after playing a bit, the fun starts. Inspired by Imdb, the site, it seems, intend to provide a robust platform for the movie lovers to meet and share anything and everything on movies. It has started with a very comprehensive database on Hindi and Bengali movies, and if their objectives are to be believed then Gomolo.in truly could be the first total Indian movie poratal covering every language a film is made in the country. The site is just a new-born, and has a lot of scope for improvement.

Found a web viral on youtube too. it’s funny

Here is what Mid-day has to say about the site. What could seperate out gomolo with its close rivals is its  focus to develop a strong network of people around the well-researched content. the site also has a handful of quality articles, which the real movie buffs would find very useful. They should soon start reward schemes for contributions to lure people to join. it’s interesting to see how they can create a niche for themselves in the age of orcut and facebooking. will they too join the trend of self-integration with orcut/facebook? their ‘movie locator’ app could surely be the one to start with.

Johnny Gaddar: Flashes in the dark

Johnny Gaddar is an open-end thriller with most common humane attributes–greed, money, love, and kill. A well-planned but failed betrayal brings everyone in a deadly trap; where the only escape route is Death.

Another master-thriller from Sriram Raghaban, who debuted with Ek Hasina Thi, shows how Indian cinemas are slowly making a paradigm shift towards Hollywood style of film-making; neatly packaged, fast paced, and innovatively conceptualised piece of work that keeps viewers’ interest intact till the credits appear; An end-to-end, value-for-money entertainer that perfectly suits its well-conceived plot while keeping the typical Bollywood overdoses at bay. Neil Mukesh, the grandson of legendary singer Mukesh, is truly a great find, and, if well guided, he may well be the face that the industry is desperately looking for.

Johnny Gaddar, the film, is in perfect rhythm with evolving urban lifestyle and taste, but may not suit the larger framework of Indian audience. The dismal performance indicators at Box-office MUST NOT deter you from watching this film.

The Story : Set in Mumbai, the film focuses on a small section of the city’s notorious nightlife. An ensemble group of five men, the eldest is 60+, the youngest in his 20s. They have their fingers in various legal and not so legal activities.

Dhol: Jo Baja-hi nahi…

A not-so-hilarious tale of four guys who want to make it big in life with the least possible effort. While trying to find a short cut to success, they embark on a comic journey of love, money, greed, crime, murder & suspense.

Priyadarshan’s Dhol is a mix bag, which largely disappoints and fails to excite, barring a few odd laughs. The most annoying part itself is the central theme of the movie which is kept away from the story till the fag end. May be the director tried to use the trick of unraveling mystery the old way; those stone-aged movies where certain objects were introduced out of nowhere just to keep the story going.

Though not a comedy trash like Priyadarshan’s recent flicks–provides a few gags after all–Dhol is certainly skippable.

[ Latest Box office Trend: Average ]

The Story: Sharman, Rajpal, Tushar and Kunal want to make it big in life but with the least possible effort. They have been doing all sorts of jobs with hardly any money. They decide that the only way to get rich (without working too hard) is to marry a rich girl. The four cannot believe their luck when Ritu (Tanushree) shifts into their neighborhood. All four of them try various methods to get close to the girl including impressing her grandparents but somehow nothing goes right. But the boys are persistent and end up discovering a spine chilling truth.

Dharm: A riveting portrayal of true religion

When swords are drawn to taste blood in the name of religion, knives are shrapened to rip apart the souls from the flesh with slightest of provocations, not for a moment anyone would think that we all came from ONE source. Religions are just different instances of a parent object — with shapes tweaked, colors changed, behaviors modified. Yet, in reality, the true secularism has always found extremists blocking the road of progress.

Pandit Chaturvedi, the most revered Hindu priest of Benaras, India, has always been a picture perfect symbol of Hinduism, treading along the traditional lines of religion. Despite his impeccable knowledge in Vaidic traits, never did he question his inner soul when it came to religion and its dictates. But a toddler, whom he incidentally adopts, would shake his beliefs when he realized that the godsent tiny soul he fell in love with is not a Brahmin boy as he was told by his wife so that she can adopt the boy, but a Muslim child who was abandoned by the mother. Shaken and raged, he heartlessly returns the son to his biological mother, and goes on performing every rituals to cleanse his body. mind and soul; but only to fail. Pandit’s life starts falling apart between love and his religion, where the later has had always the priority.

Amidst a communal flare and signs of brutality everywhere, Pandit Chaturvedi finally realizes that his understanding of religion was never right; the true duty of a religion is to love and be loved: unbiased. He dared the fanatics by embracing his beloved Karthikeya, the son he abandoned because of his religion.

Gist: Dharm is a very powerful movie with riveting thoughts that will shake the feigned secular beliefs. i personally feel that everyone must watch this movie, and the State Govts should have made it tax free rather than awarding movies like Chak De the same.

Imdb profile

The film’s music, composed by pandit Debajyoti Mishra, has a list of excellent renderings from the likes of Sonu Nigam and Sreya Ghoshal.

Aneek Dhar: the musical prodigy…

He’s only 18, but Aneek Dhar is already a singing sensation / wonder boy, who was discovered at a popular talent show “Saregamapa”. At this age, he seems to be at par with the leading singers in the country, if not ahead. I wish him all the best. he’s simply spectacular!!

To be honest, i am in total awe with this talent; below is a compilation of his performances on the Show (in a chronological order).

Chak De India: Revival of a dying game?

Just a Silly thought: why aren’t there many sports movies being made in Bollywood, despite the fact that it is a genre that sells pretty well all-over? Unfortunately, the ones that had been around hardly attempted to focus on the games; instead, used them as thematic context. Chak De India, perhaps, would be the first authentic and honest Bollywood attempt on a particular sport (also, as its sole selling point.) The fact that it’s more laudable is because the sport in question is also a dying entity. So, it was mandatory to use a massive star power to reach across the homes. SRK fitted the bill best; no surprise that he rode the audience solely on his magical PR charisma to the cinemas. But, from then the movie has been on its own — making clever moves, dodging obstacles with great finesse, and finally reaching smoothly to the viewers’ hearts!

Kabir Khan (SRK) — failed, discarded and despised, is a former captain of the Indian hockey team, who vows to savage his lost honor by transforming the national women hockey team into a winning one. Kabir, however, faces an uphill – if not impossible – task ahead. The team he has got is at best can be described as a collection of sixteen different state players: fragmented and individualistic, who don’t even have the self-belief; forget about the skills. As if that’s not all, Kabir and his team also has to fight the acute indifference and negligence from the board officials, who refuse to provide adequate support, leveraging the populist belief that Indian women are better suited in kitchen than playing a sport. All Kabir has left with is his belief and the will to bring the Gold for India.

What could be easily described as the best performance SRK has ever produced on screen: drives the entire story so brilliantly that at one point — when Kabir motivates the girls to bring out their best on the field, one feels the nerves getting pumped up and the fists tightened as if watching an India-Pakistan thriller. The rest of the cast were equally outstanding with each one bringing their characters live and so believable. And, that’s also what makes the movie appealing — the believability, unlike other Bolly-products, which would not think twice before flying a cow in the sky

Go for it!! Who knows, it might have just etched the turning point for Indian hockey…

Chak De

Badal Pe Paon Hai

Maula mere

Sattar Minue

Apne: Welcome to Deol family reunion!!

After a long break of few weeks, I was finally able to watch a film. The backlog was quite heavy already due to the gap, which had already started giving me the itchiness. And boy, how the hell did I make a start-over! I sat through a long 173 minutes to watch a family reunion!! YES, it’s the tri-deol ‘Apne’!! The team of Gadar, a huge blockbuster, sort of reunited and ill-conceived a plot which intended to cash in on their favorite jingoism called ‘patriotism’.

There’s no denial that the story have had a good potential. And it started well too. Baldev Singh, a silver medal winning Indian boxer, was desperately holding on to life in a bid to wash the stigma that West had wrongly inflicted upon him. His hopes, first by his elder son Angad (Sunny Deol) and later through a local boxer he coached, were all crashing down as they ditched him; though, for different purposes. Baldev was getting more and more depressed until an accident brought him a blessing in disguise, when his younger son (Bobby Deol), who was partly paralytic, had had a miraculous recovery. The son decided to bring his father back the honor by joining boxing and participating into an international boxing challenge.

All was well until then. As the plot progressed further, the film was suddenly out of gas and looked like dragging along. Fighting scenes, which could have been the main draws, were below standard with unnecessary slow motioned stuffs, very predictable outcomes and over-sentimental touch-ups; eventually ruining the good foundation. The music was only worth reaching out for the mute button as Himesh Reshamiya was likely focusing on his own movie – aannp knaa snurooooooor!!

Finally, Apne fails to connect as a whole barring a few occasional glories lying amidst a pile of disposals. i personally feel that it’s the poor presentation that crippled a good storyline. While the seniors – Dhramendra, Victor Banerjee and Kiran Kher sparkled, the younger Deols were consistent in delivering stupid and forgettable performances.

Trade reports, however, indicate an ‘Above Average’ status, possibly due to its strong show in northern India. It has also been a ‘success’ in the overseas – a fact that makes me wonder if the NRIs have collectively acquired a flair for non-substantial gimmicks (another example being Namaste London).

Songs i liked:

Mehfooz

Dekhhon tumhe to

Apne

Aankh Vich

Awarapan: So close yet so far…

From the Bhatts’ stable, ‘Vishesh’, comes another not-so-special movie ‘Awarapan‘, directed by Mohit Suri of ‘Woh Lamhe/Kalyug/Zeher’ fame. Mohit Suri is one of the finest emerging story-tellers, so i believe, who knows how to deliver a commercially viable package, mixing the right ingredients at the right places. Though he does that quite well in Awarapan, but somehow loses it down the line; too much of blood and violence become spoilers at the end. However, Awarpan comes with a few good things that should see it home with a ‘Should watch‘ label around; an interesting though lifted/inspired story (Korean Film – DALKOMHAN INSAENG), some refreshing musical tracks by Pritam, few good performances including otherwise-intolerable Emraan Hashmi (Ashtosh Rana is cut above the rest), and a seasoned handling of characters within a neat flow of events. though the movie starts very well in the beginning and keeps you on the edge, it somehow fumbles in the second half leaving the viewers wanting for more…

[Trailer]

Listen Songs:
Maula mera maula

Toh Fir aao

Tera mera rishta

Mahiya

Jhoom BarAbar Jhoom: Booms to the Doom!

“I have class…”, insists Rikki (Abhiskek Bachhan) in every possible opportunity he gets, though he completely lacks it. And so does ‘Jhoom Barabar Jhoom’; Ditto. Yes, that’s how I can sum up the entire movie and possibly end the infuriating tumult inside me that it caused. But some insipid yet big-mouth entity like this needs a bit more assaults for the loss, shock, and agony it offers for our hard-earned money.

Two people, engaged to different people, arrive in Europe to get married, but fall in love with each other instead. That’s the movie plotline, and the moment you read something like this, expect nothing. Lesson One!

Then you see a bizarre looking Big B in tight pants humming a song like an erratic nomad. By now, you already have the feeling that you’ve actually bought a moronic fart machine thinking it as a hi-fi music system! Still you go into the ‘denial’ mode and think that it’s just an aberration—a temporary glitch—that will go away. “Hope feeds broke”; so you hold your breadth and prepare yourself for a story to emerge. The clock ticks. The idiotic duo, Abhishek and Preity, are still caught up in telling stories to each other at Waterloo station, as they wait for their respective fiancées to arrive. Sr. Bachhan wanders in between to croon. And the situation predictably turns into a romantic (or comic, or stupid?) one. “wat the hell!”, you think, “Where’s the damn story?”

Then you remember the tagline—This June dance… jump… shout..—and you suddenly feel an upward pressure at your rump to jump out and shout loud “B-A-****-D”!!!! But by the time you do that, the Yash Raj gang has already sucked into your wallet, and are raising toasts somewhere else, while their paid critics are busy inserting a few extra stars into the ratings.

Way to go bollywood. It’ll take another 100+ years to arrive at the international landscape, despite IAFA and the cine-stars continually and comically boast of doing that, if such movies continue to be made, sold and encouraged.

Jhoom Barabar Jhoom, now you know, is worse than going to a filthy public toilet under pressure; though, both such ordeals evoke the same expression at the end (“Thank God it’s OVER!”), but in the later case you eventually thank it for being there…

That makes me wonder if YRs would better build public toilets than movies! For now, they got no one to Jhoom with which reminds me of our men in blue…

[trailer]

Listen Songs:

Jhoom

Bol na halke halke

Ticket to Hollywood

The Train: Travel at your own risk!

Another Hollywood rip-off. this time the victim is Clive Owen-Jennifer Anniston starrer ‘Derailed’. yes, victim!! because, this localised photocopy cant even stand out in the other aspects of what we call ‘movie’, and eventually dampens the (ripped) storyline. i think it’s time that the indian film-makers understand that their multiplex audience also see f-o-r-e-i-g-n philims!!!! and besides, a little more rationale also needs to be applied. For example, can can someone explain me how come all commuters in a train, or every working personnel in an office in Bangkok are Indians? Since when did we add Bangkok in our growing list of states in India? yeh baat kuch hajam nahi huyee…

Coming back to the movie; so, if you already dont know the story of ‘derailed’, this is a mingle-mangle of a couple of adulterous affairs between hashmi (Vishal), Anjali – Vishal’s wife (sayali Bhagat), and Roma – the ‘other’ woman (Geeta Basra). The crumbling marriage leads Vishal to Nikki, whom he met in ‘the train’ and eventually runs into a complex web of incidents…

the movie has at-its-best a few moderate performances, an OK story-telling flow and a few good songs, which as usual are cinematically un-necessary. you’ll, of-course, find lots of umm-amm-ohhh smooches (thanks to Emraan Hashmi, who has ripened up as a fine soft-porn actor) and a few trying-to-be-bold scenes as a bonus for watching this movie. well, all said and done, this train needed steam to run, not kisses!!

—-Trailer—-

Songs i liked:

Beetein Lamhe

Teri tamanna

Mausam

Fool n Final: A Fool and his Final movie?

Believe me, i could last only about 30 mins before every spirit tucked under my flesh started biting the poor soul. it was when Shahid Kapoor started descending from a 20 story building that my every effort to defeat this evil called ‘Fool-n-Final’ shattered. you may wonder, what’s wrong in that? Ahh, he was cycling down all the way from top!!!! i wish that choreographer-turned-director fella (the Fool) has done his Final movie here. This rare asset must be immediately deported to Dubai, so that he can shoot, at his will, with the camels, bedwins and cactus, in the desert! Will someone take the pain to let him know how bad an Ass he is, who might have thought that shaking bums and making movies require the same girth of talent; though, i doubt if he has anyat all…

But i urge you to take a look at the movie; not that there’s anything good, but you can measure your level of tolerance… and i bet, if you can survive through all the three hours, you’d know that you’ve had conquered “pain”, and inched a step forward to attain Nirvana like Lord Buddhha did

On the music front too, Himesh Reshmaiya’s scores are disappointing. Much appreciation to be given to the promotion team, who did a smart job in packaging before it actually arrived in theaters. And by then, nothing much can be done – all you have is a load of dirty yellow stuff packed in a sexy looking wrap.

Tere Layee

Yeh Dooriyan

Cheeni Kum: healthy and tasty!

How far would you stretch LOVE when it comes to age? When a 64 years old man falls in love with a 34 years old woman, heads turn, warnings are issued, hazards are told, and disasters are forecasted. Romance in such a scenario is ill-perceived as a man of such age is only supposed to be fatherly or grand-fatherly. So, when you take up a dry story like that to make a film, you’ve already en-routed towards a commercial blunder. The writing is on the wall.

But Cheeni Kum is among that rare list of films made in bollywood that attempts to showcase ‘romance’ from a different angle – a mature relationship, or as it says, a sugar-free romance. It’s a very bold attempt by the debutant director – the adman Mr Balki, who brings sparks in almost every fold. Be it the scene where ‘colgate’, the big tooth waiter in the restaurant, is snubbed by the chef, or the humorous verbal war between Amitabh and Tabu – the film infuses real-life quotients so effectively that you never feel this unusual love story out-of-the-world kind. The conversations hold the fort here as you see an amalgamation of some of the finest actors on screen – Amitabh, Tabu, Zohra Sehgal and Paresh Rawal – all of them make things work for this film that seriously challenge the spicy tantrums that typical romantic bolloywood films would offer. Tabu really is the sweetest euphony in this two-hour film with Amitabh Bachhan at his witty best.

[trailer]

My fav songs: Illaiyaraja’s music is soothing and brings that ‘simple’ touch to the ear.

Cheeni Kum

Baatein Hawa hai

Jaane Do na

New Sholay: First look

The Sinister – Bachhan as Gabbar;Oh Hell!!! is he going to deliver his best performance ever?? it’s him vs Mohanlal in Ramu’s new Sholay.

The avenger – Mohanlal as thakur;if there’s one who may emerge better than the image that the epic move had cast for so long in the viewers’ mind, it is Mohanlal.

Ajay as Veeru;unpredicatable. but going by the actor in Ajay, it’s not possible to write him off.

Nisha as Basanti;the biggest hole of the project i guess. this legged wonder looks unimpressive at the first cut!

Prashant as Jai;why do i have an inkling that the debutant would come good, though no good can be good for this role

Sush as Durga;looks far too glamorous for the role. not sure, if she could fit into Jaya Bhaduri’s shoes…

Here is the first look video for RGV’s new Sholay [Source: ibnlive]